Anger Management

WARNING! Disclaimer: The videos in this module, as they are presented, exist as a snapshot of the time when they were created. Some of the ideas are described with terms that are not used anymore because of: courtesy and recognizing the harm caused historically; and recent new data and research that has been brought to public awareness. This does not mean that the information and skills presented are any less useful. The presenters also discuss (generally and non-specifically) sexual assault, physical violence, self-harm, and trauma in order to provide some context and examples. Some of the material shared will evoke strong emotions. Some of the material is addressed to professionals but may be helpful for the lay person. There are some terms and narratives that may be triggering to some people. Please do not watch the videos if you are not at a point in your recovery (and health and wellness) that you are not strong and resilient enough to watch. Watching the videos indicates your acceptance of the disclaimer and you understand that Strengthening Your Conscious Self is not responsible for results, or outcomes of watching the videos.

Anger is a natural human emotion, you have no control over the triggered sensations and emotions. Anger becomes a problem when it spirals out of control, and you lose the ability to regulate the emotions, it can become destructive, affecting relationships, work, and overall well-being, when you don’t know how to respond and manage your reactions. Fortunately, anger management work in coaching or therapy offers a path to understanding and managing anger issues effectively. In this module, we’ll explore the complexities of anger, its potential consequences, and how the inner work can empower you to harness this powerful emotion in a healthier and safer way.

Course Content

Intake and Self Guided Assessment

[Assessments] Formal and Informal Personality Testing
[Assessments] Life Domains Questionnaires and Surveys

Introduction

[Article] American Psychological Association (3/3/2022): Control Anger Before It Controls You
[Article] Mayo Clinic (4/14/2022): 10 Tips to Tame Your Temper

TEDx Videos:

[Video] Anger: Why we get mad — and why it’s healthy | Ryan Martin

Anger researcher Ryan Martin draws from a career studying what makes people mad to explain some of the cognitive processes behind anger — and why a healthy dose of it can actually be useful. “Your anger exists in you … because it offered your ancestors, both human and nonhuman, an evolutionary advantage,” he says. “[It’s] a powerful and healthy force in your life.”

[Video] The Antidote to Anger | Mike Goldman

Mike Goldman is a leadership team coach and bestselling author of two books, Breakthrough Leadership Team and Performance Breakthrough. During his 35-year coaching and consulting career he’s worked with hundreds of leaders and dozens of organizations including Disney, Verizon, CHANEL and Polo Ralph Lauren. His insights have been featured in Forbes, Fast Company and Chief Executive Magazine and he’s widely regarded by CEOs as the expert on building great leaders and leadership teams. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

[Video] Anger Is Your Ally: A Mindful Approach to Anger | Juna Mustad

In this pioneering talk, Juna Mustad reveals how neuroscience and mindfulness techniques can help us unlock the power of the world’s most stigmatized emotion, anger. Juna Mustad has been coaching leaders and visionaries for the last 13 years to develop emotional intelligence, create healthy relationships and embrace their full potential. She works with individuals, groups and companies globally to develop mindfulness tools, foster leadership skills, and enhance overall wellbeing. Juna is a coach, mindfulness facilitator, intuitive and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. Through her work she offers an accessible, non-threatening approach to creating a healthy relationship with the world’s most stigmatized emotion. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Juna is a Life and Relationship coach, an Intuitive, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner focused on helping you create healthy relationships, expand your emotional awareness, and embrace your full potential. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

Andrew Huberman | Huberman Lab Podcast

[Video] Understanding & Controlling Aggression | Huberman Lab Podcast #71

Dr. Huberman describes the neuroscientific (brain) mechanisms that activate and control aggressive states and behaviors and the role of hormones (estrogen and testosterone) in mediating violent and/or competitive aggression. He also describes tools that can be used to modulate the factors that have been shown to ‘prime’ an individual for aggression, including sunlight, estrogen sensitivity, competition within social settings, overall stress levels, and the hormone cortisol. He discusses how substances such as caffeine and alcohol can impact impulsive behaviors and how nutrition and supplementation can be used to regulate mood and aggression.

Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes

Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Qualified Clinical Supervisor. She received her PhD in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida in 2002. In addition to being a practicing clinician, she has provided training to counselors, social workers, nurses and case managers internationally since 2006 through AllCEUs.com Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes helps you learn anger management and cognitive behavioral techniques to prevent anger management issues.

[Video] What are the Fs of the Stress Response?
[Video] Anger Management: 10 Session Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
[Video] Anger Management Part 1
[Video] Releasing Anger Anxiety and Depression
[Video] 10 Ways to Deal with Anger
[Video] Master Conflict Resolution: Boundaries and Constructive Disagreement
[Video] Six Ways to Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing What To Do
[Video] How To Stop Being Judgmental: Six Tips
[Video] Break free from unwanted thoughts: CBT self-help tools

Dr. Christian Conte

Dr. Christian Conte is one of the country’s most accomplished specialists in compassionate leadership and communications. His prodigious background in mental health and emotional management enables him to bring a unique and compelling perspective to his presentations, as well as valuable tools to leave behind for his audience. A familiar figure on TV and radio, Dr. Conte is also a prolific writer, powerful communicator, and sought-after corporate consultant and trainer. He co-hosted The Secret Life of Kids on USA Network. He was also the co-host of the reality show Coaching Bad on Spike TV, and the resident therapist for VH1’s Family Therapy. His latest book, Walking Through Anger, is available now.

Dr. Conte co-hosted the Tackling Life podcast with football Hall of Famer Ray Lewis, and produces a daily short-form Emotional Management radio feature heard daily on hundreds of stations across the country. He recently began hosting his own weekly call-in talk show on KDKA radio in Pittsburgh, also available as a podcast. In July 2015 he conducted the TEDx talk, “Why I Chose to Go to Prison.”

[Video] Anger Management Techniques That Work!
[Video] Five Keys to Controlling Anger
[Video] Anger Management: How to Let Go
[Video] Anger Management for Relationships
[Video] How to talk to angry people

Self Help Toons: Anger Management Skills

Assertive communication helps us achieve our objectives effectively. We express our wants and needs while treating other people with respect, making it more likely that they cooperate. Some of us have trouble communicating assertively. Instead we communicate passively, aggressively or passive aggressively. The assertive communication techniques from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) are a great tool to help us be more assertive.

The first set of interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT consists of three skills that help us obtain objectives effectively: objectives effectiveness; relationships effectiveness; and self-respect effectiveness.

With Objectives Effectiveness we use the acronym DEAR MAN to communicate assertively in order to have our rights and wishes respected. With Relationship Effectiveness, we use the acronym GIVE to build and maintain positive relationships, and end destructive ones. With Self-Respect Effectiveness, we use the acronym FAST to build and maintain positive relationships, and end destructive ones.

[Video] The ABCs of CBT: Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior
[Video] Changing Negative Beliefs with Behavioral Experiments in CBT
[Video] Stop Shoulding Yourself and Feeling Guilty, Depressed & Anxious
[Video] Assertive Communication & Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

Barbara Heffernan

Barbara Heffernan is a life coach, leading people to more self-love, self-confidence and joy. She was a psychotherapist who specialized in helping people recover from anxiety and trauma for almost two decades and is an expert in CBT and EMDR. On her YouTube channel, she integrates the best of Mindset Techniques, CBT, EMDR, Mindfulness, Buddhism and Neuroscience.

[Video] The Underlying Causes Of Overwhelming Anger
[Video] Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Anger Management
[Video] Visualization for Understanding Anger

Anger Management for Dummies

The lessons in this section are adapted from the book “Anger Management for Dummies” by W. Doyle Gentry, PhD. (Anger Management Specialist and Clinical Psychologist) published by Wiley Publishing. The website pages are protected by a password that I provide to my coaching and therapy clients. The information is subject to US copyright laws and can only be shared with my clients.

Part I : The Basics of Anger

1: [Lesson] Anger Is a Universal Emotion

Common Anger Myths
The Role of Emotions
Getting Help
You’ll Know When

2: [Lesson] When Anger Becomes a Problem?

How Angry Are You?
Is Your Anger Toxic?
The Risks of Toxic Anger

3: Is Anger Poisoning Your Life?

Robbing Your Energy
Making You Ill
Sabotaging Your Career
Ruining Your Marriage
Affecting the Health of Those You Care About

Part II : Managing Your Anger Today

4: Taking Immediate Action

Drawing the Line — the Sooner the Better
Settling for Just Being Annoyed
Understanding Why Your Fuse Is So Short
Lengthening Your Fuse
Sometimes It Pays to Feel Guilty
Distraction Works

5: Speaking Out in Anger

Forget Venting
Expressing Your Anger Effectively
It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

6: Keeping Your Cool

Choose to Respond Rather Than React
Assessing Your Anger
Be Patient
Take a Deep Breath
Ask Yourself Four Crucial Questions
What Are My Options?
Go Ahead and Respond Now
Reward Yourself

Part III : Preventing Anger Tomorrow

7: Adopting a New Perspective

Anger Is in the Eye of the Beholder
Accepting Life for What It Is, Not What It Should Be
Becoming More Tolerant
Figuring Out Where Hostility and Resentment Come From
When in Doubt, Be Assertive

8: Saying What You Feel

Why Hiding Your Emotions Isn’t Healthy
Being Civil Doesn’t Always Mean Being Nice
Stop Having Issues and Start Having Feelings
Walking Away and Still Having Your Say

9: Confessing Your Anger

Confession: It’s Good for What Ails You
Who Can Benefit from Confessing
Understanding the Difference between a Diary and a Journal
Telling Your Story Your Way

10: Becoming a Type B

Moving Beyond Type A
Acquiring Wisdom
Finding the Right Environmental Fit

11: Using Anger Constructively

Making Anger Your Ally
Exploring the Motives behind Your Anger
Using Anger to Understand Yourself
Constructive Anger
What Goes Around Comes Around

Part IV : Handling Anger from the Past

12: Why Is Letting Go So Difficult?

Digging Out from Anger
Living without Resolution
Time’s Up: When to Let Go

13: Forgiving

Forgiveness Is Never Easy
Choosing to Forgive
Doing a Cost-Benefit Analysis
Accepting the Finality of Being Wronged

Part V : Lifestyle Changes That Improve More Than Your Anger

14: Managing Stress

Distinguishing Stress from Strain
Staying Away from Stress Carriers
Identifying the Sources of Your Stress
Knowing Which Types of Stress Are Toxic
Avoiding Burnout
Discovering How to Be Hardy
Coping with Stress: What Works and What Doesn’t

15: Managing Your Chemistry

Just Because It’s Legal Doesn’t Make It Healthy
How Much Is Too Much?
Keeping Track of Your Substance Use
Eliminating Your Favorite Cigarette
Counting Your Caffeine
Adopting a New Drinking Style

16: Adding Balance to Your Life

Counterbalancing Stress
Creating Healthy Pleasure
Go with the Flow
Maintaining Meaningful Social Ties
Understanding Why Your Life Is Unbalanced
Making Self a Priority

17: Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

Understanding What Sleep Does for You
Knowing How Much Is Enough
Rating the Quality of Your Sleep
Improving the Quality of Your Sleep

18: Looking to a Higher Power

Reaching Up rather than Out
Using Faith as a Weapon
Praying Prayers of Gratitude
Practicing Compassion
Being Humble — It Helps
Having a Blessed Day

19: Staying in a Good Mood

E-lim-inate the Negative: Maintaining a Positive Mood
When Your Mood Becomes a Problem
The Anger-Depression Link
Fixing the Problem

Part VI : Managing Anger in Key Relationships

20: At Work

Recognizing Counterproductive Work Behavior
Knowing Where to Look
Improving Your Negotiating Skills
Creating a Positive Work Environment
Making Civility the Norm
Speaking Up, Not Out

21: At Home

It Takes Two to Tango: Avoiding Angry Dialogues
Managing Anger from the Top Down
Choosing the Unfamiliar: Changing Your Family’s Patterns
Looking at Your Parenting Style
The Power of One

22: In Intimate Relationships

The Loving-but-Angry Relationship
If You’re the Angry Loved One
If You’re on the Receiving End of a Loved One’s Anger

Part VII : The Part of Tens

23: Ten Ways to Raise a Non-Angry Child

Being an Emotional Coach
Starting Early and Talking Back
Creating Teachable Moments
Being a Positive Role Model
Putting the “I” in Emotion
Labeling Feelings Appropriately
Identifying Causes
Teaching Problem Solving
Choosing the Third Alternative
Learning the Difference between Wanting and Getting

24: Ten Ways to Combat Road Rage

Don’t Rush
Loosen Your Grip
Focus on the Journey rather than the Destination
Be the Other Driver
Take the “I” out of Driver
Look on the Bright Side
Repeat after Me: They Are Not the Enemy
Stop Catastrophizing
Stop Being So Rational
Settle for Just Being Irritated

25: Ten Anger-Freeing Thoughts

No One — Absolutely No One — Can Make You Angry without Your Consent
Anger Boomerangs — And So Does Love
It’s Only Money
Other People Are Not the Enemy
Life Isn’t Fair — Not Even at the Top
Energy Is a Terrible Thing to Waste
Don’t Kid Yourself: We’re All Bozos
This Isn’t the Hill You Want to Die On
There’s Nothing You Can Achieve in Anger That You Can’t Achieve without It
When You’re Dealing with People, You’re Not Entitled to a Damn Thing!

Anger Management Course (SAMHSA, 2019)

[Lesson 1] Overview
[Lesson 2] Events and Cues
[Lesson 3] Anger Control Plans
[Lesson 4] The Aggression Cycle
[Lesson 5] Cognitive Restructuring
[Lesson 6] Skills Practice
[Lesson 7] Assertiveness Training
[Lesson 8] Non-Violent Communication
[Lesson 9] Conflict Resolution
[Lesson 10] Anger and the Family
[Lesson 11] Anger and Relationships
[Lesson 12] Skills Practice
[Conclusion] Continuing the Work

Course Completion

[Reflection] Self Reflection Journal