How Exiles Developed

The goal of this lesson is to provide you with a guide to the common lived experiences, important memorable events, and/or phenomena and concepts associated with exiled parts of our internal systems. If at any time during completing this lesson you feel angry, triggered, over stimulated, or overwhelmed, please stop, you can send me a chat, or you may complete the meditation titled “soothing a triggered exile.” The meditation can be found in the multimedia library listed in the drop down menu on the left.

Exiles Lived Experiences

Each one of the phenomenon (past experiences) in the following list are available as separate lessons. These are actual real lived experiences that caused suffering, harm, and pain. Some could have been experienced first hand and others could have been witnessed or learned. These are not the actual exiled parts but rather these are the experiences that caused the exiles to form dysfunctional beliefs, expectations, assumptions, perceptions, and thinking patterns. Some of the events may not have created the exile, but may have served to make their load heavier or burden greater. This list does not attempt to relay the entire spectrum of human experiences that may cause exiles or burden exiles. Most or all are categorized as severe traumatic events. They are not meant to be listed in any particular order, one is no more important or significant than another.

Event or Experiences:

  • Victim of a Violent Crime
  • Gang Related Activity
  • Drug Dealing and Addiction
  • Natural Disaster
  • Workplace, Transportation, Recreational Accident
  • First Responder – Law Enforcement
  • Violent and/or Sudden Death
  • Military Service, Combat Exposure, Prisoner of War
  • Military Service, Adjustment to Civilian Life
  • Physical Abuse
  • Intimate Partner Violence
  • Sexual Harassment
  • Sexual Molestation
  • Sexual Coercion
  • Rape
  • Bullying
  • Mental, Emotional Abuse
  • Financial Abuse
  • Abandonment
  • Rejection
  • Neglect
  • Adjustment to Significant Life Events
  • Humiliation
  • Infidelity
  • Divorce
  • Grief from Death of a Significant Other
  • Losses in Life, Job, Money, Status, Relationships
  • Guilt (“I did something bad”)
  • Shame (“I am a bad person”)
  • Vulnerability Breach
  • Pressure from Society, Community, Family
  • Religious Ideology and Zealotry
  • Poverty and Homelessness
  • Racism and Oppression
  • Sexism and Patriarchy
  • Classism, Ableism, Ageism
  • Inequity, Injustice, Inaccessibility
  • Incongruence, Dysphoria, with Gender and Biological Sex
  • Disability and Disorders
  • Environmental Dangerous Exposure to Toxins
  • Pest Born Illness
  • Food Born Illness
  • Blood Born Pathogens
  • Terminal Illness

There are separate activities where you will be given an opportunity to map your parts. You and your therapist can discuss this in therapy sessions.

Please let me know if there are any other experiences that are not on this list that may have helped to form an exile or burden an exiled part of you. I would like to add your experience to this list in the spirit of improving the program for you and others. Your name and identity will remain anonymous and confidential.